Struggling After Abortion?
By Sydna Massé, President and Founder, Ramah InternationalIf you are one of the millions of women who have made the choice to have an abortion, you know that the memories associated with this experience can be difficult and even painful.Months and years may go by without any remembrance of the abortion experience. Then, one day, you find yourself wondering what your life would have been like had your child lived.
Triggers like seeing children that are the same age your child might have been, or the anniversary date of the abortion/birth date of the child, may leave you feeling anxious, scared, and fearful.For most women, the abortion is a closely held secret. Rarely do we talk about this pain with family or friends. Many feel fearful that they will judge us if they know they made an abortion choice. There is good news - God can heal abortion pain and bring new joy to your heart.
How do you know you need post-abortion healing?
Perhaps you are thinking, "Okay, so I had an abortion. But that is in the past. Do I really need to be healed?" Some women seemingly never need to work through any kind of healing process. But for many of us, the memory of abortion lies like a hidden infection within, weakening and impairing us in ways we may have never realized were related. Is that true for you? See if you recognize yourself in some of the following questions:- Do you feel reluctant to talk about the subject of abortion, or do you feel guilt, anger, or sorrow when discussing your own abortion?
- Do you tend to think of your life in terms of "before" and "after" the abortion?
- Do you have lingering feelings of resentment or anger toward people involved in your abortion, such as the baby's father, friends, or your parents?
- Have you found yourself either avoiding relationships or becoming overly dependent in them since the abortion? Are you overly protective of any children you have now?
- Have you begun or increased use of drugs or alcohol since the abortion, or do you have an eating disorder?
- Have you felt a vague sort of emptiness, a deep sense of loss, or had prolonged periods of depression?
- Do you sometimes have nightmares, flashbacks, or hallucinations relating to the abortion?
You are not alone
The Alan Guttmacher Institute, the research arm of Planned Parenthood, states that "at current rates 43% of all women will experience abortion at least once by the time they are 45 years of age."Women who have had an abortion find themselves fighting hard to forget the experience. They may avoid or be pre-occupied with babies and children. In at attempt to convince themselves that abortion was their only choice, they may turn to substance abuse to numb the pain. Not all women are affected in the same manner. Some women seemingly have no regrets or signs of physical or psychological effects. Our program is designed for women who have experienced some degree of remorse and regret. A woman who hurts after an abortion is not always understood. The intensity of her emotional reaction is a shock to her as well as to those from who she seeks counsel. The circumstances that lead a woman to choose abortion may not relate equally to the intensity of her emotional reactions. Women who choose abortion for what they consider all the rights reasons at the time are not exempt from mourning the loss of their child.
The Compassion Pregnancy Center & Clinic PACE (Post-Abortion Counseling & Education) program has a 20+ year history of helping women who are unresolved about a past abortion. We invite you to come into our clinic to talk with a trained staff member about joining a PACE group. You may meet privately with another woman or join a group of women who also have an abortion in their past. We are here to help you explore this issue from your past so you can become whole and confident once again.
